Stop Complaining and Start Being Grateful

"Thank you for this meal."

I don’t really know who I’m talking to. Maybe it’s the universe. Maybe it’s my parents. I’m not sure, but it’s a sentence I still say every day before dinner. I don’t even remember when the habit started. But one thing I know for certain is that I always feel grateful. For the most "mediocre" things—the things that seem like the bare minimum for a normal life—I still find a way to cherish them.

If you’re reading these lines on your personal laptop or smartphone, you’re already luckier than the 750 million illiterate people in this world—people who can’t even read the label on a water bottle.

Are you bored with home-cooked meals? About 800 million people go to bed with an empty stomach every single night. And if you have a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in, you are wealthier than the 1.6 billion people living in slums or facing homelessness globally.

As long as you can walk and breathe without a ventilator, you are luckier than the one billion people living with disabilities or terminal illnesses out there.

Maybe this is the first time you’ve heard these numbers. Or maybe you’ve heard them before but didn't pay much attention because, let’s be honest, they don’t seem to "help" you. Your life is still a mess. You’re anxious about social interactions, judged by colleagues, and crushed by the pressure to marry or buy a house before 30. You eat well every day, you have a car, a Netflix account to chill, and you know how to code in React—but your life still doesn't feel that great.

Studies showing the correlation between gratitude and happiness aren't rare.

Martin Seligman (the father of Positive Psychology) once asked participants to write down three good things that happened each day and why they happened. After just one week, their happiness levels spiked and depressive symptoms plummeted. More remarkably, this effect lasted for an entire six months.

Then there’s Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, who split participants into three groups: Group 1 wrote about things they were grateful for, Group 2 wrote about daily hassles, and Group 3 wrote about neutral events. The result wasn't exactly a surprise: the "gratitude" group not only felt more optimistic about the future but also exercised more and visited the doctor less often than the other two groups.

Honestly, I don't think we even need those experiments to see how important gratitude is. I just wonder if people are unaware of it, or if they know it but just can't do it. And if they can't, why? It’s definitely not because it’s "hard."

Sex Education is one of my favorite series (don’t let the name fool you). There’s a scene between Maeve and Jackson that’s worth reflecting on. Jackson complains about his parents being overbearing and suffocating him with attention. Maeve simply replies: "At least they care."

Be grateful for the people who love you, even if they don’t love you exactly the way you want them to.

Are you single and feeling lonely? Be grateful that you live in a society that is open about dating and communication. At least you don't live in an era where a single accidental glance could cost you your life.

We are all lucky. One way or another. Always.

And always remind yourself of this: Things can always be worse. Always.

So, back to the old question: How do you "practice" gratitude? Practice? Is it a skill? Yes, it is. I can't give you a perfect answer because, obviously, it depends entirely on your attitude. But if you've made it this far and are still reading, I believe you intend to change.

"What if I didn't have this?"

That's the magic spell. Ask that about everything around you. I believe you’ll start noticing many new things you’ve been unintentionally ignoring.

Anyway, I have to go grab breakfast now. Catch you later. :v